One of many
trip reports under the
SilGro home page for Alan Silverstein and Cathie
Grow.
Email me at
ajs@frii.com.
Last update: July 25, 2024
(Previous trip report: 1991_0818_Capitol,K2.htm)
By Alan Silverstein and Perry Scott
Aboard the Wildwind, Lake Powell, Utah -- but first we must get there. Co-owner Mikey opts out, so other-owner Alan begs for help with the grocery shopping. He gets lots of help, but not quite enough...
Perry, Alan, and also John Yockey meet for dinner. Perry brings wife Val Scott and baby to inspire us to look for breast-fed baby-poop-yellow rocks (deferred until the last night of the trip). Alan's friend Marge Boehner drops in also to share the party atmosphere.
Somewhat later with full tummies and a revised menu plan, three men do a shopping blitz at Steele's. The store is nice enough to wait till they finish before closing. The Captain discovers that if you spend over $200, you get a nice letter thanking you for being a happy customer...
(Later on the lake they discover that if you shouldn't grocery shop with an empty stomach, neither should you buy for six for a week after a full meal. They have plenty of good food, but apparently "baked potato bar" isn't considered a real meal. Besides, you need non-rotten potatoes for it... So Desperation Night comes early. On the upside, they shop again late in the week and have two steak nights, yum. Captain Alan is not keel-hauled from his sailboat after all.)
Perry plus Bob Jenk opt for the redeye flight from the Front Range, leaving little margin for error.
Alan and John launch an hour late in a Subaru that threatens to explode with goods. It's an uneventful drive to camp near Salida (yes, they took the very long south route!) They make one stop in Denver to unwind 600' of new anchor (and keel-haul) line from a spool and pile it behind the captain's seat. It snakes out at every opportunity...
Alan and John spend 2.5 hours in lovely Montrose arranging "food gas eats" and financing. First casualty: Upon opening the Subaru rear gate, a frozen maple syrup bottle jumps from the vehicle and bursts on contact with the asphalt. Most of the contents are recycled into a handy plastic cup.
Montrose to Monticello (Utah): What a ride. Up, down, up, down, etc across the wild backcountry in an underpowered overloaded Subaru wagon with a sailboat on the roof. But they make it to Natural Bridges NM in time to do significant hikage and eatage. Later it rains. They stay pretty dry, but not the cantalopes, cokes, and potatoes holding down the tarp. Second casualty: Did you know that wet potatoes rot in Utah summer heat, and that they really really stink?
Meanwhile back at the Fort, 2030: Perry calls Bob to see if all is on schedule. Bob sez he is up to his eyeballs in (truck?) refrigerant and he's been trying to fix the air conditioner all day. Bob requests a delay.
2330: Perry arrives at Bob's, expecting to transfer supplies to the powerboat and leave. Imagine his surprise to find Bob working on reupholstering the captain's chair. Bob has also forgotten where the nut that holds the prop was safely hidden. Bob's manifold water toys are strewn about the lawn. This was the first warning that Connie L (don't ask what the 'ell the L stands for) is demonically possessed, but Perry ignores the danger signs.
Perry and Bob staple the chair, find the nut, pack the boat, and are on their way to Powell. On a whim, Bob packs a mountain bike. Perry asks him where he expects to build a road for it. (On day six of the trip coincidentally the crew moors Wildwind near a road and Bob goes riding. By serendipity, Bob manages to "work all toys".) Bob's IH Scout is funky, but roadworthy. Bob explains that the Scout is used only a few times per year, so it is a low-maintenance vehicle.
0130: Bob mails some bills at a shopping center just before the Morrison cut. He notes the license plate on the trailer needs more baling wire. Perry notes that the left turn signal is inoperable. Perry buys bagels for the long trip, Bob works on the plate. Both piss in the parking lot.
During the night, the trusty steed emits several prodigious backfires while climbing to the Eisenhower Tunnel. Later Perry realizes that both the sailboard and Scout know that Connie L is demonically possessed. The sailboard is trying to escape and the Scout is trying to exorcise demons with loud noise.
Oblivious, Bob reties the sailboard to the Connie L. Bob misplaces the boat keys on the bow. The keys know about Connie L, jump off, and are never seen again.
Several more delays occur, mostly due to Connie trying to throw Bob's toys into the ditch. The downhill ride to Powell has a few tense moments as Connie attempts to throw the Scout into the ditch.
Later that same Sunday: It All Comes Together. (But getting there was half the fun.)
Alan and John are off the ferry (from Halls Crossing) at Bullfrog Marina by 0830, and there's the Wildwind aiming for the buoy. Later with time to spare, they brave gale-force winds to do a suicidal half-hour sail from the ideal car and boat parking bay to the boat at the buoy. What a way to arrive! And no sooner into the water to swim, than Jack Roschel and Marcia Hodgson hail Wildwind from his shiny Reinell speedboat.
Perry and Bob, on time and on target, join the crew at the bay sans boat keys. From the back deck, Alan bugles his brass Pakistani traffic horn to his parents (Jack and Carol Silverstein) as they get off the noon ferry. It's a quorum!
Is this great or what? A clean boat, two working engines, two working refrigerators (for the first time in three years), a full crew, an early departure... No trash compactor, but it's a fair trade... Whoops, no keys to one of the speedboats. (The other boat meanwhile has given its owner fits for two whole days -- but that's 'nuther tale.)
It's Lake Powell! Can we have fun now? No, first spend a few hours neutering Connie's starter switch because of the key she threw away. Where's the tool kit? Yeah! ...Connie will get her revenge later.
1530: Bob's Connie L now runs with a screwdriver. Too bad about the bilge pump switch though. Off we go! Uh, three miles later, the Captain recalls the small matter of the Holy Orientation and Safety Pitch. We stop! We float! Endure Alan's Safety Lecture. Prepare to have fun. Whew, that's done. Now... North? South? OK, north it is.
Afternoon T-storm. It rains! Boy does it rain. Captain Alan is very happy to be under way, under power, in the channel where the crew can watch the lovely waterfalls, one of which reminds them of Niagara. Wow.
Meanwhile the ad hoc scouting party reports -- Moki Canyon is FUBAR. Forget that. Go North, young crew. Away!
Next: Hansen Creek, daylight evaporating. Inexperienced scouts choose a site with undersized anchor rocks. Perry scouts another site in Connie L. With darkness falling, Wildwind decides on a place Perry misses. Perry watches the anchoring from afar. When he pokes the screwdriver into the starter switch, Connie exacts revenge. The neutral switch doesn't. He paddles to Wildwind. Later Perry starts nasal whining about wanting a "maaarshmaaallow."
The rear swim deck sticks out into the curve but it makes a fine turn-target for the passing water skiers. Home at last!
Wet roof? All the wiser ones sleep below, but the crazy Captain, he always likes the top deck. Clouds yes, rain no, and it's another wunnerful night on the Wildwind. Except: Third casualty: The Captain didn't know you can't freeze mayonnaise. Ugh. The emulsifiers aren't. (You shouldn't freeze carrots either, but dry ice has this thing about cold, and well, you can still cook them...)
Awakened by nearby speedboats, the crew finds Wildwind moored on a point next to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. This is where they go to create replacements. Marcia and Perry hike to a high spot to get away from the Choir and find one of their spawn is there ahead of them. Crew decides to move the boat later.
It's a pretty day, let the fun begin! Perry and Alan play with the new anchor ropes, getting them mostly installed. While sealing the new rope ends, Perry is sprayed with molten plastic. He wants a maaarshmaaallow.
Uh, Jack's boat is having no fun. Run, sputter, start, run, sputter. He peels off early to return to Halls for fixes... Much later a radio relay through Bullfrog Central tells us he needs pickup while the boat gets an overnight rectal exam. The Connie L comes through.
Captain's Mom loves the galley. "It's bigger than my kitchen at home." She demonstrates great galley prowess: Decadence with Honor (Galley).
John and the Captain's parents hike to the Defiance House ruins in blazing July sunshine with a half liter of water. It's called Forgotten Canyon for a reason! Wildwind finds a home in the same canyon, and later the hikers are back, hot and thirsty. Everybody sleeps on top the rest of the week and frolics in the moonlight. Perry still wants a maaarshmaaallow.
Morning delivery of the newspaper to the bow is absent again. The Captain resolves he's really gotta talk to ARA about shoddy service. Delivery of the Captain's parents to their car at Bullfrog Marina is flawless, followed by pickup of Jack's speedboat from Halls. $115 to fix a fuse, and he still has to work on it more himself anyway, but then it runs fine. Demons exorcised.
Alan buys Perry a maaarshmaaallow -- in a jar. Goopy stuff, Alan likes it more than Perry, and consumes most of it.
While most of the crew drops the Captain's parents at Bullfrog, Perry and Bob move Wildwind into the channel to wait for the landing party to return. Bob opts for some nude sailboarding. Bob's sailboard doesn't recognize him if he wears swim trunks.
The Connie L, still mischievous, floats peacefully behind Wildwind. She sees her chance. Wildwind is drifting toward shore and Perry starts the starboard engine. Connie wraps her bow line around the prop and is reeled in like a fish. Perry notes Connie moving faster than the houseboat, an apparent violation of the laws of physics, and ungracefully shuts down the starboard engine. Inspection reveals Connie's bow line wrapped three times around the starboard lower unit, and a free end drifting toward the port engine lower unit. The rocks are coming nearer.
Perry secures the free end, starts the balky port engine, and the Wildwind is safe once more. Secure the demon-boat with one of the old anchor ropes, dig out the diving equipment, and unfoul the prop. Perry now realizes that Connie is demonically possessed. From now on fender Connie to the side of Wildwind, where she stays out of trouble.
But demons still haunt the Connie L, rubbing bare a fuel gauge line. Alan labors in blazing sun to make repairs, only to discover that the real problem is loose nuts under the helm -- a bad ground wire. Mike was right, star washers are a gift from the gods. Insert new ignition switch from Halls Marina -- and it functions. Then Wildwind proffers a spare switch that fixes the bilge pump. The fuel gauge works now. The engine trim doesn't, very well, because of a connector loosened when moving the battery, but that is corrected later too. Ah, life at the Lake! What do non-engineers do there for fun?
Full moon quietly occurs at 1257.
The rest of the week is a daze of days. Blissful interludes in Good Hope Bay. Perry does a lot more hiking than you'd expect from someone who hates it. The Captain nearly steps on a rattlesnake after one walkabout (returning at twilight, rattling below his feet...) Bob decides not to sleep on shore that particular evening.
Bob leaves his sex-toy catalog on display. He claims that he bought his, er, underwear from them and they just keep sending him catalogs. The crew is not convinced. Perry finds a hood ornament for Bob's Scout. Intrigued by an anatomy picture, Marcia wants to call Claude van Dong's 900 number via marine operator. Bob happily discovers his Penthouse magazine (sans centerfold) that was lost aboard ship during the May trip.
The Captain moonlight sails four nights in a row: Ah, stars floating in the vastness above the Tapestry Wall...
Alan and Perry confirm that Palmolive dissipates gasoline floating on the lake. They also demonstrate it's a bad idea to use a speedboat to stir it up. The Connie L shows a fatal attraction for the swim deck during a high-speed turn and gains a tattoo on her behind.
At Bob's prodding, Perry learns the fine art of pulling a skier down a narrow canyon crowded by other skiers. Bob insists on skiing at 4500 RPM, which on the Connie translates to something just under Mach 1. Perry narrowly misses other skiers in the water, but fouls the prop with a bikini top.
A small crew is a blessing. Lots of room aboard, but it's still noisy until someone -- anyone -- leaves. Often it's Captain Alan in his teensy styrofoam sailboat or with his mongo day pack. Consensus is easy: Any three people out in a ski boat are close enough to a majority. So do we agree on everything? Of course not!
Alan bushwhacks and finds a pretty canyon featuring Temple Square, ringed by deep alcoves. Just up the dry creek bed, petrified wood, and further, a deep ravine with a 40' tunnel. Next morning he takes Jack and Marcia back to visit. All play like children. Major excavation of eroded mudstone hillside for chunks of petrified wood.
Wildwind drifts back south through stops at Sevenmile Canyon and Cedar Canyon. Sevenmile contains a quiet cove for mooring and is subjected to more canyon skiing at ludicrous speed. This spot gains honorable mention as the most technical mooring job of the trip. Perry observes that you can't trust any rock you can move. Alan is amazed that Perry can move the best mooring rock on the port side -- with the help of two 150 HP engines.
There are too many people in Cedar... A horde of cabin cruisers moors within earshot. Bob attempts to drive them off with Ozzie Osborne and outrageous nudity. They turn out to be more obnoxious than us, so they get to stay.
Perry attempts to dissuade a bothersome bug from flying in close proximity to his eyeball and sends his glasses into lake. Luckily we are on a shallow shelf and Jack retrieves the glasses without incident. The Captain's HT batteries are unplugged during the salvage operation. He is not amused.
Sometime around Thursday the crew begins to grumble about iron rations. There's plenty of food left if you like plums, sourdough bread, peanut butter, and gorp, or something like that. Galley duty gets creative. The crew gets busy shopping at Bullfrog Marina on Saturday, and drives back in a wild whitecap wind with frozen rib-eye steaks.
They find Wildwind demonically possessed by the wind, but the new anchor ropes are stronger -- and the sacrificial tape is still looping loudly in the sound system! Just for fun the crew affixes an old anchor line to an extra sand pin on shore. Next morning it requires major digging to excavate same. Moral: Never send out crew to pound anchor pins while high on adrenaline. New rule: The person that pounds the pin also retrieves the pin.
The last night out, Alan, Perry, and Marcia find an exquisite Moki route up a lovely slickrock butte dubbed the "MonoTit" for its end-on view. John might have joined them but for paddling back a sailboat with a demonically possessed detached rudder. The butte is capped with ancient river cobbles in wild colors, including breast-fed baby-poop-yellow.
It's a nice place for the night except the bugs are there first. They're everywhere there's a light. Oh well, they add protein to any meal. That night's meal (I think, who remembers?) includes a salad with a very special surprise for Marcia, the only female crew member, featuring the aforementioned hood ornament. Fortunately the maaarshmaaallow sauce is gone and is not part of the centerpiece.
Bob, influenced by a too-generous ration of tequila, eats his meal ala Anasazi. He demonstrates to Perry the skin-softening properties of rib-eye steak. Bob also demonstrates to Alan the hair-softening properties of his favorite malted hops beverage. Alan is not amused.
During cleanup morning we meet the mouse that has been aboard all week helping us recycle food scraps into, well, recycled food scraps. Showing great bravery, several crew members chase it off the gangplank, where it undoubtedly becomes snake food.
Kick off Jack and Marcia at Halls where awaits their trailer. Finish cleaning, time awasting, frantic departure at Bullfrog, the next crew is on time and waiting patiently. Power lunch for the four remaining crewbodies in Hanksville, then the long drive home, uneventful. Prepare to re-enter normal civilization and cease having fun. Cease fun now.
(Next trip report: 1992_1003_HighDivide.htm)