Twelve Commandments for Seniors


Last update March 9, 2025, by Alan Silverstein, ajs@frii.com

Found on the web in 2025 without attribution. Web hunting revealed similar lists as far back as 2020 but without original author. These are unusual and funny enough that I decided to clone and save them here.

  1. Talk to yourself... There are times you need expert advice.

  2. "In Style" are the clothes that still fit.

  3. You don't need anger management... You need people to stop pissing you off.

  4. Your people skills are just fine... It's your tolerance for idiots that needs work.

  5. The biggest lie you tell yourself is: "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

  6. "On time" is when you get there.

  7. Even duct tape can't fix stupid -- but it sure does muffle the sound.

  8. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes and come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?

  9. Growing old should have taken longer.

  10. Aging has slowed you down, but it hasn't shut you up.

  11. You still haven't learned to act your age, and hope you never will.

  12. "One for the road" means peeing before you leave the house.

And this: Lately you've noticed people your age are so much older than you.